


Cooking By the Book!

by LunarRoseTea



Category: SCP Foundation
Genre: Baking, Bright being Bright, Clef is mentioned off hand, Gods, HAHAHHAHAH MONKEY BRIGHT I CANT, Idk who - Freeform, Its someone's bday, Just someone I guess, Lolfoundation, Rituals, Tags Are Hard, i guess, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-26
Packaged: 2021-02-27 23:00:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22853617
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LunarRoseTea/pseuds/LunarRoseTea
Summary: He returned home, tired and on his last little string of sanity for the day. This should have been when Bright admitted defeat, and had someone else bake the cake. His absolute stubborn nature was holding him back, though. So, he spent an hour searching, and searching for some way to get his hands on a cake. The store was no longer a choice, baking it was off limits and online would take too long. Finally, it popped into his head. He was so stupid. Why buy one, when he could make a deal with some ancient force?Considering his security clearance, it didn’t take long for Bright to find something he could make a deal with, SCP or not.Doctor Jack Bright, was going to summon an ancient deity, to bake a cake.AKA, Dr Bright tries and fails to bake a cake, and decides to summon a deity to GET ONE.
Kudos: 14





	1. Deadass Just Chapter 1

Hand-eye coordination had never been Bright’s forte, and being stuck in 963 only made that far worse. Although, the doctor was caught off guard with the side effect of horrible balance and hand-eye coordination with each new body. Each time he’d be transferred into a new body, Bright had to deal with the fact that his limbs felt like lead, and stupid stumbles and scrapes that’d occur in the first few days of being in the new body. So count him surprised when he was asked to bake a cake for a friend of a friend’s party. Something Bright could ABSOLUTELY handle, right?  
Well, apparently wrong, he thought to himself,as he stumbled to and fro, tripping on flat ground. Bright wasn’t amused by the way this new body was treating him. Only a few days ago, a damn monkey decided that 963 was its new plaything, and snatched it right from Bright. Thus, making Dr Jack Bright a monkey. Much to his dismay, he had to wait four days until he could get a new body. Bright had already dealt with the pain of being a monkey once before, and god, did he not want to deal with that again. Bright was trying to make the cake traditionally, flour and all. Unfortunately, the monkey underestimated the height of the shelf holding the baking supplies, so right when he got his little furry hands on the flour, the elaborate ladder made of various stools and chairs toppled to the floor. Bright landed straight onto his ass, holding the obliterated bag of flour, and wearing a majority of the contents of that bag. He let out a small little cough, which disguised an even smaller whisper, which was either a curse word in English, or monkey. Either way, it wasn’t anything good at all. He knew that admitting the fact that he not only made an absolute mess, and lost what was most likely 150 dollars worth of stools, chairs and the poor deceased bag of flour would get his ass killed by Clef, considering he st- borrowed the doctor’s chairs. So, instead Bright decided that buying a cake (and two new chairs) from the local department store was the best idea.   
So, Jack showered, making sure no trace of flour was left behind; considering his track record of not being the most mentally sound man, meaning he had to drown himself in dog shampoo. Not an accurate animal, but monkey shampoo is hard to come across. After cleaning himself as if a plague was in the baking supplies, Bright pulled a jacket on, and headed out to the store. It was ice-cold out, practically almost as frozen as Bright’s little heart. He quickly sped up, soon resorting to a full on sprint, until he finally arrived at the store, panting. Getting the chairs was easy, so that small trip was easy. After quickly returning them home, Bright went out to a grocery store, which was luckily close by. As the monkey man browsed through the extensive amount of cheap frozen cakes, he laid his hands upon the nicest looking one out of the stock. Unfortunately a pair of well manicured hands grabbed the exact same cake. Bright looked upwards, and made eye contact with a middle aged woman, with a haircut that could only be described as “I don’t vaccinate my children, and my husband is an absolute cuck” stared back. She scoffed slightly, looking away. Her expression shifted, and it changed to absolute shock as she realized that a monkey grabbed the same cake as her. She let out a loud, inhumane screech for security. Now, it took explaining, and the cameras being wiped for Bright to get away with buying the chairs. So, Bright wasn’t too surprised when he was grabbed, and animal control was called. Of course, he could NOT be sent to the pound considering how he wouldn’t last a second there, so Bright had to covertly knock the security guard out, and make a mad dash home, all without the cake. He returned home, tired and on his last little string of sanity for the day. This should have been when Bright admitted defeat, and had someone else bake the cake. His absolute stubborn nature was holding him back, though. So, he spent an hour searching, and searching for some way to get his hands on a cake. The store was no longer a choice, baking it was off limits and online would take too long. Finally, it popped into his head. He was so stupid. Why buy one, when he could make a deal with some ancient force?  
Considering his security clearance, it didn’t take long for Bright to find something he could make a deal with, SCP or not.

Doctor Jack Bright, was going to summon an ancient deity, to bake a cake.


	2. Oh no, not chapter 2

Frantically, the Doctor searched around his apartment, scattering various things ranging from potted plants and…. Unsavory Japanese comics. Must’ve forgotten about those. Finally, his needed supplies were gathered. A can of spray paint (hot pink… nice), 5 candles, and an image of Elton John. Technically a CD cover, but it worked. Now, technically Bright could have gone with many different things, since it was said he needed an image of a person he hated. The original idea of his was an image of Clef, but that brought up the question on if Clef was actually a person. So, Bright took the safe route… After snapping on a pair of gloves, he got to work. Beginning with spray painting a pentagram, and placing a lit candle on each point. How basic. Jack sighed, and looked at the low quality printout he found. Now he had to place the image in the center, and repeat the phrases listed. He followed along to the T, until the speaking part. Holy shit, this had to be a troll. If Bright had any semblance of a stable mental state, he would’ve just tore the paper up, and called it a day. Emphasis on IF. So, he inhaled, and began to say,

“Ecks three, nuzzles you… Oowoo you so warm? Pwease cowm ouwt mistewr… Ohwoah?”

It was silent. Dead silent.

Bright dropped the paper, and groaned loudly. He grabbed at his face angrily, turning to drown himself in the toilet, or challenge 096 to a staring contest. Until the floor began to glow a blinding white. The floor shook, and he was sure the building was going to crumble, before it all stopped. From the glowing portion of the floor, a shadowy being stepped out. Its long, willowy limbs reach outwards, and a gargling, raspy voice asked “What do you seek… Mortal?”  
Jack snorted, and turned back to the thing. He shoved his hands in his little monkey pockets, with a small smile on his face “A cake. Marble, preferably. Cream cheese frosting.. Uh, not too decorated, but not horrid looking. Ya’know?” ...There was a pause, and the creature mumbled to itself softly. Finally, the awaited question of any deal arrived “What will I get in return? I’ve been given many things… A limited edition figurine of a catgirl, to their soul. What precious item could YOU offer m--” The thing cut itself off, its gaze moving to look at 963, sitting at its usual comfy spot on Bright’s neck. It stretched a single finger out to touch the amulet, before it paused, returning its arm back to its side. The creature seemed to know that 963 was not safe to the touch. Finally, it spoke up once more, “How about… The amulet?” Bright’s breath caught in his throat, as his uncertain gaze flicked away from the thing, before shifting back. “You want… 963? You DO realize what it’ll do if you touch it? You want me to take over your body?” The creature chuckled, although it was more like a deep little snort, “That’s the trait I like, mo… I guess I can’t call you mortal, huh? No, I’m planning to use your amulet to my advantage…”

The silence in the room was deafening, until it was broken by an unsure question from Bright, “What if I… Make a different deal…? If I do challenges or something, and I pass through them, I get the cake and you get nothing.. But, if I fail… You get 963 and I don’t get the cake..?” The figure hummed, and coughed softly, until replying “Well, that does sound entertaining.” It reached a hand out towards the doctor, “It’s a deal, then.” Most people would have cut out long before, but as previously mentioned Bright was no normal person; So, he grabbed the thing’s hand, and softly shook it.

Bright may have screwed up, but there was nothing he could do in this situation. So, he was in it to win it..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for this being shorter, choir stuff is getting in the way right now, so I'm more focused on that. Either way, I hope this is somewhat enjoyable despite being a fic about Bright making a deal with an ancient deity to get a cake.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic I've posted in... A LONG TIME. I have an old Eddsworld one, from 2018 up on this acc, but that's it!  
> Seriously though, please leave criticism if you have any, I'D LOVE IT. I hope you enjoy, I'm planning on updating soon.


End file.
